Aligning maths with reality£……

Maths. For the ones who have never ever heard of this five lettered word  (p.s.-existence of such life form is highly uncertain)  mathematics might seem like the name of some lavish luxury automobile brand. Even I sometimes give it a thought.

Apart from that maths has some really adverse relationship with reality. It’s composition includes 90% of pulp fiction and 10% of   ground reality.

2 cows and 2 cows makes 4 cows and this is the closest maths has been to
reality and that too in kindergartens. Higher mathematics is more like Wonderland where you keep searching for bits of reality moving
bewildered in a whole new virtual world  like Alice did.

I am a student, pursuing my majors in mathematics and i had no intentions of writing something like this until last night, when I saw something (a question to say in particular) that left me really disturbed and baffled. The question left me unconscious and made me to fall asleep. I kept thinking  “this can’t be real, am i hallucinating or has someone drugged me or maybe i am dying”  till the point when sleep took me over. To my surprise i opened my eyes in the morning (yes, I was alive).
Slowly I started gaining consciousness when all of a sudden I saw him again and i was like

Then i understood all of this was for
real and the only way to end this was to solve it and i did that.

Here’s what he looked like,

In the island of Hoola Boola Moola, the inhabitants have a strange process of calculating their average incomes and expenditure. According to an old legend prevalent on the island, the average income had to be calculated on the basis of 14 months in a calendar year while the average monthly expenditure was to be calculated on the basis of 9 months per year…

And then multiple questions followed from this small piece of information.

Also in one of the questions there’s a character named boogie woogie nd the currency of the island was moolah (yes, they even created fictional currency).

After going through this question I strongly feel the need of a brief statuory warning on the cover of every single maths book……..

” all the characters, places and incidents in this book are purely fictional and any resemblance to  any person dead or alive is only coincidental”.

Moving on………
The  world is overpopulated with students and based on their approach to solve the above mentioned question they can be divided into three sub categories :

1.the one’s who will skip to the next question.

2.the one’s who will be like
x % y – z≠blah blah,
flip the page, yeah!  I got the  correct answer.

3.this group consists of some highly evolved intellectuals ( including me) who will solve it like
enabled data connection
Opened browser
Googled hoola boola moola

and even google is like – what the f**k is this?

Moving on…
Going by my thoughts textbook writers need to invent a new niche of mathematical problems involving some ground reality. If they got a problem, here’s a damn practical question concerning with real life situation……

Ram and shyam are two friends pissing off in a toilet. If ram has a shaft 10 inch long and 2 mm thick he pisses off with a velocity of 8m/s. If shyam has got a shaft  double the dimensions what will be his velocity? 

Some might call it surreal but guys shafts are more real things than some island named hoola boola moola having fictional currency and irrelevant mythological ways to calculate monthly income and expenditure (I hope it makes them fool the income tax department).

So my final words……
What can be done to align maths with reality £?
Nothing i guess. There are some things which should be left the way they are because there are a very few things in this world which by providing a fictional view of the society deviate our mind from the harsh reality  that in what a heinous creature humans have evolved into.

(p. S. – guess what some famous fictions would have transformed into, had they been aligned with reality…

1. Alice in Nigeria (the climax would have seen Alice being abducted and sexually abused by the boko haram) .

2. Alibaba and 40 Isis militants. (the story must have been ended with Alibaba being beheaded.)

)